Surrendering - Feeding tube it is

Due to Keane's difficulty breathing today, he did get a NJ tube - a feeding tube. I am now pumping, then he is getting a continuous infusion of breast milk directly into his tummy. He is much more peaceful and happy. Although we  tried so long to make sure he wouldn't have to have a feeding tube before surgery, the best possible case scenario was to waive the white flag. Feeding tube it is. He can go to the floor when his heart and lungs are stable. The two remaining chest tubes and NJ tube are not a limiting factor in leaving the ICU. Hopefully tomorrow....?!?